Protocols & Rituals - my (Jane's) view

Dave recently posted about the protocols and rituals we have between us. I am writing this post to let you know my view about our P&R.

When Dave joined the lifestyle, I gave him protocols and rituals to follow as a reminder of the TPE (total power exchange) we have between us.  Some of the rituals are that when he is home he is to wear his boxer-briefs and teeshirt with his wrist and ankle cuffs, he must get permission to sit on the furniture or at the kitchen table and he is to kneel before me at various times. Dave kneels when I come home or when he returns from work in the evening. When he comes into a room sometimes I point my finger to the floor where he is to kneel . If he deserves to be punished,  I make him kneel on a pencil, some pebbles or rice grains with his hands behind his head. If he deserves a severe punishment I tie his wrists and ankles behind his back and make him kneel in the corner. He may have to hold a quarter or a pair of my panties in place against the wall with his nose. The kneeling and punishment redirects his attention to me reminds Dave that he is my slave.

Dave has responsibility for maintaining the dungeon, the bathrooms and kitchen. He will do other chores when I order him.

A few months ago I trained Dave to be my personal assistant. He has gradually come up to speed. I trust him to mange appointments and field calls while I am busy with clients.

I have enjoyed reading Dave's blog for some time, but I was reluctant to comment because I wanted Dave to express himself freely. In the future, I may post or comment now and then. If you have any questions for Dave or me, leave a comment or send either one of us an email. -Jane

The Tip Jar

Recently one of the co-owners of the bar said that he wanted to sell his stake. The other owner, Sarah, encouraged Mary to buy his share. Money has been tight lately. Even with her two jobs, Mar couldn't come up with enough money to buy the other partner's stake.

I volunteered to give all of my earnings to Mar for her share of the business.  We were still very short of enough money. I wanted to help her by contributing all that I could. The next day, she took me shopping at Mr. S's and outfitted me in tight leathers. She also coached me on how to make suggestive remarks to some of the regulars.

"Dave," Mar said that evening, "Don't you have something to do in the back room?"

"I think we have enough beer and wine for tonight, " I replied.

"Dave," she ordered, "go into the back room".

I opened the door to the back room and saw one of the regulars, JJ, leaning against the cases, unbuttoning the rivets of his 501's . JJ  is a tall, lanky brown-haired boy a few years younger than me. He had a runner's build, slim with sinewy muscles. He pushed his briefs down and a long, thick cock jutted out from his fly. I knelt down and sucked it.

I had a several more sessions in the back room that night .

At first I thought I was doing freesions to keep the customers happy until one of my tricks offered me a tip.

"Here, " he said as we zipped up our pants, "this is for you". He handed me a $20. "You were beter than I expected".

I worked on several johns that evening.   When the bar closed, Mary counted the cash from the tip jar. There was more money than usual. Mary and Sarah were quite pleased with my "moonlighting".

Protocols & rituals

Jane has established protocols for me. I kneel before her when she comes home or when I return from work. I'm usually dressed in boxer-briefs and a skimpy teeshirt. She initiates the conversation by asking my account for tasks that she has given me. We then talk about how we feel about our relationship. I reveal any fantasies about her that I have had that day. We have our "truthful moment" when I can say whatever is on my mind without consequence.

Usually I am kneeling next to the desk in her study. We go over her appointments and any calls she would like me to return. After this, I clean up the bathroom & kitchen and serve her a glass of wine. If she has more work to do, Jane ties my hands behind my back and pushes me under her desk. Her feet massage my body while she is working. We chat like this:

"If I beat you tonight," Jane says, "would you like me to use the flogger or the cane?"

"The flogger is nice to start," I reply, "but end it with the cane, please, ma'am."

"And how many strokes do you deserve tonight, slave?" Jane continues.

"Twenty, please", I reply.

"Maybe I'll give you 40 since you've been bad lately, yes?"

"Yes, ma'am", I reply in a choked whisper.

The conversation is a tease that works up my fear. I know I'm going to feel a lot of pain tonight. Jane strokes my briefs with her foot and my cock stiffens. She has me trained to lust for pain and sex.

"Is my husband here?"

Working as Jane's assistant has interesting moments. I answer calls and make appointments while she is treating clients in the dungeon. Recently I had this call:
"I'm Mrs. XXX," , a demanding voice loudly proclaimed on Jane'c cell, "Is my husband Harold here?"
"Yes ma'am," I answered, "he's tied up at the moment." Harold was trussed up on the cross while Jane was givving him a lashing. I field calls to Jane while she is having a session to keep interruptions to a minimum.
"Well, " she followed, "would you remind him to pick up my shoes at the repair shop?"
"Yes", I felt relieved, fearing a confrontation of threats with drama, "I'll tell him when he gets out Mrs. XXX."

Most of Jane's long-term clients tell their wives or girlfriends that they see her regularly. They want a service with a special packaging that their SO's will not do. It's too hard for the women to thrash their husbands one moment and then expect them to pick up the kids the next. For most people, it is unlikely they could live the BDSM lifestyle 24/7. I heard one of the wives talking to Mary:

"I know he goes to Jane's every week. He has asked me to beat him but I can't. He's happy after he's been with Jane and he is a beter husband".

Jane's sessions fufill a man's femdom fantasies and perks up their sex lives. Most of the experience is the fear of seeing Jane approach them in her leathers with a riding crop in hand as they are trussed up on the cross. She demands that confess their shortcomings to her, tells her of their secret desires and beg to be whipped. The beatings are just light enough to get them to ejaculate on her gloves or boots. She forces them to lick off their cum as a final humiliation. They thank her for the experience and leave excited.

Shavin' or Waxin?

Mar has been pimping me at the bar for some time. The business has picked up during the summer (tourists?). We now groom each other by shaving our private parts every other day. Recently she said she would like to shave less and we should wax. She taught me how to wax her pubes some time ago. Now it was my turn. She tied my legs over my head to the sides of the waxing table and applied the strips to my butt.

When she pulled off the first strip, I felt incredible pain. "Ow, sh*t!, f*ck!!!" I cried.

"Oh, you're such a baby" she said as she pulled the next strip of wax off my butt, ripping the hairs from my skin.

"Ow, f*ck!" I cried even louder.

"If you don't shut up, " Mar said, "I may have to gag you!"

I bit my tongue as she pulled the other strips. She ended the session by tweezing the hairs that the wax missed, one by one.

It was a session of excruciating pain. I don't know how women take this. I guess they are more stoic than men in this respect.

I wasn't embarrassed as Mar had been shaving my pubic hairs & butt since we met. Besides, we have a lot of strap-on sex. So if I would be embarrassed about Mar seeing my intimate parts, that ship has passed a long time ago. Still, I felt humiliated somehow. So this is what women have to endure when they get waxed.

She finished by rubbing oil on my skin. She said: "I could be mean to you and use after-shave since you took it like a man. Still, you deserve a little punishment for yelling at me."

So she gave me 20 whacks with a paddle. The sting was horrendous on the skin she had waxed off.

Where do we go from here?

After Mar had exercised her feelings about the breakup with Jane I asked her if she didn't mind listening to some music. She said she would like that Katy Perry cd I had. We were sitting close together on my bed and I put my arm around her. We started kissing. I've been turned on by Mar when I first saw her but I didn't want to take advantage of her vulnerability after the breakup with Jane. When we heard Perry sing the lyrics:

Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?
What you're waiting for, it's time for you to show it off
Don't be a shy kinda guy I'll bet it's beautiful
Come on baby let me see
Whatchu hidin' underneath

Mar placed her hand over my crotch and found my hard-on pushing up on my jeans. In just a short time we had stripped and I had Mar tied to my bed with her legs over her head. I picked up a short flogger  and began rubbing her puss with my hand and flogging it lightly.

As to sex with guys, the ladies have their preferences. J likes to dom guys, tie them up and ride them cowgirl-style. Mar does not like guys to penetrate her with their c*ck. She prefers to be bound, her puss whipped , rubbed and finger-f**ked. Sometimes she begs to be untied so she can rub herself with a vibrator while my fingers are entering her holes.  I know by her breathing and murmurs when to speed up or slow down or do more with one hand and less with the other.

After a long period of this fingering, she is wet all over. She allows me to mount her and tease her clit with the tip of my c*ck. Sometimes she'll let me penetrate her slowly while I'm holding myself above her.

Guys who learn this about Mar think she is a c*ck tease and usually won't go on a second date with her. As for me, I don't mind because I like her a lot. I usually have f*cked with several people before I see Mar at the end of the day, so another f*ck is not that important.

Mar prefers MMF threesomes with me. She can warm herself up while watching some guy like Kyle getting on with me. When Kyle and I have finished with each other, we turn to Mar. One of us will be kissing her lips while the other is kissing her puss.

Mar recently said to Jane, "sometimes boys are almost as good as a girl" . She meant that Kyle & I or, lately, Andy & I, can be almost as sexually fulfilling as Jane. She emphasized the "almost" to imply to Jane that she still is the best.

Her remark was also a testing of the waters to Jane: if Jane still had feelings for Mar, she would be there for the taking. Instead J said: "I'm happy for you two (Mar & I)".

So as it now stands, J is still hot for Zev and there's Mar & Kyle and me or Mar & Andy and me. Before this we felt like we had to sneak around Jane. We often had our threesomes when Jane was at work, or outside of her house when Jane was home. Now we get together downstairs while Jane is upstairs with Zev.

Who do you love?

When J was hot for the body-builder, Zev, she ignored M & I. Although this was another romance with someone else, Mary was heartbroken. I could see the quiet resentment in her. She thought I didn't know about the affair and was about to break the news to me one evening when I came home.
She was in my room, sitting on my bed. Her eyes appeared watery & red. "Dave", she said in an apologetic tone, "I want to talk to you".
I set my shoulder bag on the floor and sat next to her. I thought the worst had happened: namely that Jane was evicting me.
"What's up," I asked as I touched her hand.
"It's Jane," she began, "she's hooking up with Zev." She said in a way which implied that I immediately understood the significance. I knew the news because I saw how fond J. was becomming of Z. during our sessions with him. I liked him but felt there would be no long-term relationship possible with Z and I since he described himself as "heteroflexible".

Heteroflexible is a term that is said to have started in FetLife and means basic heterosexual orientation with accommodation to same-sex activities. In my experience with women this means that will make love with either men or women at the same intensity but that they identify as heterosexual. Heteroflexible men will tolerate a guy going down on them (oral sex) but they will not reciprocate, or they will f**k a guy but not allow themselves to be f**ked by a guy. On the other hand, many straight and heteroflexible guys identify and hang out with other guys as long as "nothing gay" happens.

Zev got off when Jane ordered him  to suck my c*ck. She then ordered me to f**ck him while he was tied to the spanking table in a  "forced bi" scene. "Forced bi "wouldn't work for me as I do not feel humiliated when I have sex with guys I like. The ladies and I liked Z. a lot; the B&D sessions were exciting. I hoped Z would be a fit with our family.
That evening when Mary broke the news to me I could see that she was sad.
"Well, J is having sex with him right now ", she added. I could hear some mumbled conversation upstairs. It sounded like a B&D session. She then asked me, "how do you feel about this?"
"Mar, " I turned to her and clutched her hand, " how do YOU feel about this?"
She told me that she was upset but that this was one of many romances J had over the years and this might not last too long. This was the first time I had seen Mar, a veteran to polyamorous relationships,  feel distraught about her lover, J. Mar was the one who was usually sleeping around with several women and some guys. It seemed strange that she would become so upset about J's infrequent dalliances.

Bi and Bi

A facebook friend was chatting with me recently.
"I split up with Larry", she said, "I found him in bed with another guy".
"Oh, sorry to hear that" I asked, "I thought you were both bi".
"We are."
"Have you thought about poly?"
"What's that?", she asked.
We talked about the various threesomes she and her ex have had recently. I went on to explain polyamorous relationships to her. I told her that she was actually in impromptu polyamorous relationships with the threesomes and maybe acknowledging the lifestyle wouldn't be too hard.
"Oh, " she argued, "I'm not into poly".
I figured we wouldn't go further on what was becomming a misunderstanding.
For me, the polyamorous lifestyle seemed like a mysterous vocation available only to the elite. And yet I was (and still am) living it with my roomates, J & M. We love each other in our special way and we love others. This is how it was when I first hooked up with them and this is how it is today. I just didn't recognize that this relationship is a form of polyamory.
Many of us may be living in a poly relationship and not even realizing it. Instead of worrying about what the label means, we just go about living day to day. If others want to label it a poly relationship, that's fine, but it won't change how we are living together.

When we're happy

Our friends often wonder why we don't entertain in our home. It's not that we don't like visitors or that we're not social. We like seeing our friends outside of the house at the park, the beach, clubs, etc. At home we try to keep our privacy. Here is an example why.

M typically cooks the meals, I do the serving and wait on the ladies. When they are done they have me kneel to their side and feed me scraps off the plate. There is a lot more to this ritual (wn: explain other things that J & M do with me at the table), but I'll move on.

After dinner, I clean up. M stays  in the kitchen with me and directs the handling of the leftovers, etc. J is in her "study" reading or checking her online communications. M & I eventually get goofy when we play the Ldy Gaga CD that has the song:

"Not psychotic or dramatic
I like boys and that is that
Love it when you call me legs
In the morning buy me eggs
Watch your heart when we're together
Boys like you love me forever...

Boys, boys, boys....we love them" .

Although J hates to hear Gaga, we sing along with the lyrics. Mary will often give me a slap on the ass when I'm at the sink washing dishes.

I'll say something  like: "is that all you got!".

When she's ready, M will yank on my collar or pull my ear and point me toward the stairs. I know this means a trip to the dungeon in the basement. We go down, she attached my shackles to the cross and lets loose with her whipping toys.

Often J comes downstairs to fold clothes or do other things nearby. She stands near the open door to the dungeon and listens to the whir of the leather through the air, the thud on my back and my "ows". J is letting M go solo with me but hovers nearby just in case help is needed.

When the session is done, J usually comes into the room and feels the welts that M has inflicted on me. The two ladies caress me and we start to chat.

"You liked that didn't you, Dave?" one of them asks.

"Yes, Ma'am," I answer drowsilly as I am still in subspace.

After a while the ladies release me and we return upstairs to J's bedroom.  I am attached to her rack facing the bed while the women make out . (wn.: I wrote about a typical session in my other blog "Dave's Adventure")

If we had friends over, the dinner part would be like other people (excpt for my kneeling at their side and the feeding). Even out BDSM friends might be surprised M & I are clowning around in the kitchen and into a pain session in the dungeon the next moment  . How can this happen? When the ladies are happy and fufilled I have a chance of receiving discipline. Sometimes we finish dinner and go our respecive ways. But other times, when the moment is right and when they appreciate my gift of submission to them, they feel generous to give me what I crave.

People who are not familiar with the BDSM lifestyle may think discipline is some kind of punishment for being bad, but for us it is the fufillment of happiness.

Birds of a Feather

The three of us frequently get together informally. Usually J & M are sitting on the leather couch. I come in the room and kneel on the floor in front and between them. This time J taps on the couch which means I am to sit on it. I get up and take my place.
"So Dave," J opens, "how was your day?"
This is a loaded question. If I am in protocol with J alone I apprise her of pending appointments with clients and  give her an accounting of chores and tasks she has set for me to complete. Sometimes she'll ask more intimate things about what I desire from her. She usually expects me to repeat my vows of obediance and then wait for further questions.
But this time was different since J had already been chatting with M. Since there was no protocol for this occasion and the meeting seemed informal, I began by telling the ladies who I was with during the weekend. Most of the people I had sex with were arranged by M at the bar and although she seemed familiar with them, she was keen on learning what I actually did with these guys in the back room or the upstairs flat.
(writer's note (wn): Usually male readers want me to give details of the sex at each of these encounters but I will have to postpone this accounting for later).
After I had presented the general outline of my weeked encounters, M proceeded to tell of hers. I was surprised that she had been with so many partners. Of course, I had been too busy with my partners for the moment to notice. (wn.: more details later).
Then J gave a rundown of her bookings for the weekend. She is very discreet about her clients and will not reveal their names even to me, her PA. Nevertheless, I recognized the guys she was talking about and the usual activities they paid her to do. J avoided commenting much about her love of the moment, Z, saying only: "he was here Sat. night". I figured she had an all-night session with him that involved bondage, pain & sex.
As the ladies were having their animated conversation about guys they had been with I realized we all had one thing in common: we were sex workers. I have often wondered why the ladies allowed me to be part of their triad. I'm not as attractive as some of the guys they hook to.  I'm not as sophisticated as some of the guys that they are in sessions. Why is it that they like me?
The many boys (and some girls) we play with come and go. They have other lives and even families that they live with 24/7. To them, J , M and I are fantasy people who they see for a few hours for the services they do not get with their people. We have to prep for sessions by shaving and waxing our intimate areas, put on fantasy gear and go through the rituals with them for a modest fee. We have to clean up after them in the dungeon, backroom or bedroom when they leave their wet condoms or fluids that they eject on our racks, toys and clothes.
When we deliver a good service to a client, they see the up side of the experience and their fantasies are fufilled for the moment. We live with the downside of the sex and the beatings, the less-than-perfect grroming, the smells and sight of bodily fluids, the dirty sex toys and endless laundry but this is our job and we like it even with those we give it free. That is what makes us different: we know what our avocation is and we stay with it despite the ups and downs.
Also, we are not likely to judge each other's activities, since we are all in this together. J was at first reluctant to let me meet her parents, fearing they would use me to get moralistic on her. Instead, I became a middle person who kept them discretely at bay and protected J in the process. Although they don't expect any grandchildren from J and I, they are happy that she has "settled" for some "straight" guy. My relationship with J is anything but a heterosexual union, but it has the appearances and this is all that matters to many people, including J's parents. In the same way I appeared as a mate to M when her father, a military drill instructor, came to visit one time. He seemed quite happy that M had "settled down" with a man.